Chris Martin

While I will cop to having a few Coldplay songs on ye old music server here at the Cake Eater Pad, for the most part, I am over them.  All their music sounds the same---and not in a good way.  I can understand that bands have their "sound," as in they bend certain songs around their particular way of doing things.  A good example to illustrate my point would be The Doors.  You can instantly tell it came out of their kitchen when it starts playing.  They have a flavor of their own, but each song, or, if we're to continue with the food metaphor, each dish is different and absolutely unique, and well able to stand on its own merits.  You could say the same of Pink Floyd or Foo Fighters or No Doubt---or any number of other bands. Yes, Coldplay has its own flavor---but every dish that comes out of their kitchen pretty much tastes the same: too much ego, not enough salt.

Now, I've long thought that Chris Martin, aka Mr. Gwenyth Paltrow, aka Coldplay's frontman, is full of shit.  Or rather is a sack of shit.  Or rather is a shit.  Pick as you please.   Not only is he a sanctimonious, high handed shit, he's also a talentless hack shit.  Everything he writes is the same fucking song. Over and over again. 

Or so I thought. 

I will admit that I actually kind of like Viva La Vida.  Yes, it's Coldplay, but it actually sounded different.  There was some orchestration going on.  Someone hadn't gone crazy with the mixing board, like they usually do, creating the audio equivalent of mashed potatoes. It sounded crisp and new.  And, I will admit, I do like the lyrics.  But it would appear as if I've got ammo on the "talentless hack" claim, because Coldplay has not one, but two claims of plagiarism against them at current regarding Vida La Vida.  One from Joe Satriani, who is suing claiming that they recycled large chunks of his song If I Could Fly and one new claim from our old pal Cat Stevens Yusuf Islam, who isn't suing...yet.  He believes a bit of his Foreigner Suite II made it into Vida La Vida as well.  

Curiously enough, this could get interesting, because the bits and pieces that are under dispute are the same in all three songs.  

Have a listen and see what you think. 

First, Coldplay, with Chris Martin acting like an overpaid, sanctimonious "I am the Second Coming of Christ" ass.  (No one said you actually have to watch the video, so don't worry if you want to look at other things while it's playing.  No one will blame you.) 

Now, away we go to one Mr. Cat Stevens.  Fast forward to around the 5:20 mark and you'll see what he's talking about.

Then we have Joe Satriani, and "If I Could Fly," which I must admit, I've never heard before now. No fast forwarding needed here...it'll be obvious soon enough.

Now, how does that work?  Because, chronologically speaking, Cat went first, so Joe was stealing from him, and hence Cat should be suing not only Coldplay, but Joe as well.  But Joe felt solid enough in his claim to actually file the paper with the court, so I'm not sure what exactly is going on here. 

All I really know is that Chris Martin stole it from someone, hence he really is a talentless hack.  Heh.