Archive - Jan 7, 2009
Martini Boy speculates about Steve Jobs' explanation for his recent weight loss.
"Fortunately, after further testing, my doctors think they have found the cause - a hormone imbalance that has been “robbing” me of the proteins my body needs to be healthy. Sophisticated blood tests have confirmed this diagnosis.
The remedy for this nutritional problem is relatively simple and straightforward, and I’ve already begun treatment. But, just like I didnt lose this much weight and body mass in a week or a month, my doctors expect it will take me until late this Spring to regain it. I will continue as Apple’s CEO during my recovery."
Seeing pictures of Jobs last year reminded me of my hyperthyroid problems from a couple years ago. Except that my condition is an easy one to treat, and the weight came back on immediately — 2.5 pounds a week, on average, for a dozen weeks or more. Also, Jobs seemed sane, which doesn’t mesh with a hyperthyroid, either.
So what’s this “imbalance?” Not a clue.
Forgive me for stating the obvious here, but the man's pancreatic cancer is, most likely, back and he's hiding it again. The difference this time is that he's actually letting some information fly, to keep people from nosing into his business any further, but I suspect he's not telling the entire tale.
There are two things that are well-known to cause "hormone imbalances" and they are cancer and cancer treatment. I lived through the hormonal imbalances caused by grapefruit sized-ovarian cyst/tumor. I gained---and then miraculously lost---thirty pounds in the year preceding my diagnosis. That came from my hormones being seriously out of whack. Cancer treatment did the same thing to my already much reduced supply of hormones. While I'm not one to doubt unusual side-effects that come on after surgery and treatment for cancer (excessive scar tissue and neuropathies, thy names are legion and thou suck excessively), it seems a wee bit odd to me that a mysterious hormone imbalance has appeared out of nowhere which caused Jobs to lose a significant amount of weight...after he beat pancreatic cancer, which has a seven percent five-year-survival rate. Ummm, is the phrase "Occam's Razor" ringing anyone's bell here? Hormone imbalances are, most of the time, a sign that something nefarious is going on elsewhere; they're a symptom, and not, in general terms, a problem by themselves, no matter what Suzanne Somers tells you on QVC, when she's plugging her books. (And, seriously, people you're going to believe Chrissy on this shit? Bleh.) To my knowledge, it's rare when imbalances are the sole problem. I simply think Jobs is not telling the entire story.
For once, I somewhat feel sorry for Jobs. Really. Usually, I think he's an arrogant prick who has set up the Apple Universe to revolve around him because he's got a huge ego and he likes it like that. I think he's a thief because he blatantly stole the idea for GUI from Xerox Parc. I think Steve Jobs will usually do what's best for Steve Jobs; that he gets mileage as a technological guru out of it is more than just icing on the cake. But the man is ill. Beyond any right he has to privacy, lying is his only chance to keep his company going. And I agree with that lie. It's the only choice he has. Publically revealing his condition with an interview in Time, People or Newsweek would not help him the way it would some down and out Hollywood person. If he revealed his illness to what, I believe, is its full extent, his company would not only lose millions of dollars of market value in an instant, because the stock markets would freak, and Apple could, conceivably, be on the verge of collapsing within days of the announcement. But more than that, an Apple without Steve Jobs is not an Apple that works. Most people remember what happened the last time when Jobs was booted out of Apple by the board, and it did not go well for Apple as a company---and the one person who understands this the most is, indeed, Steve Jobs. For better or worse, he is what keeps that company on the money-making track. In the end, he would be put in a position where he would not only be ill, but he would be forced to watch his life's work unravel at the seams. I can tell you from experience, when you're ill, and you think there's a fair to middling chance of dying, that's the very last thing you want to do.
Even though he's a jerk, I'll wish the jerk well and hope that he can get over his "hormonal imbalance" quickly and without too much pain in the meanwhile.
